


YURI ON IC!!!E

by yuionass (knottedprince)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, IDk how to tag this its the worst king of crack, M/M, i didnt tag ships bc there are automate tumblr accts that post fics in ship tags lol, i was high when i wrote this okay, i was r e a l l y high
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-19 19:43:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10646751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knottedprince/pseuds/yuionass
Summary: I got really high and decided to write "Fanfiction." This is the product. Don't expect anything from this, it's literally nonsense lmao





	1. Chapter 1

Bobbies

 

  
once uonp a time there was a skater boi she said see ya later boy he wasnt good enough for her HIM  NOW HES non m tv his mothers a ceo and da’sn a 3po

 

ANYWYA

Wow you canTEELL im sohughtoned high rtone ass shighlight boiii he boutta ARAVE TED CRUZ I FOR GOT OMG TED CRUZ IS THE GRILLEr

Sansyway

OKAY LETS GET DOWN TO MSUINESS MUKAN I C Ujohn cenA CEEEE

JESUS CHRIST I AM STONED

Caps ock was on hahahahahha llos cpas lock or souulhd i sap.... laps COCK hahahahaha laps cicko was on

Jkdhczsvlcconcentnatse!!!!! Concentrair

Vict WAIT VIKTOR NIKIFORROV BOTTOMS ADSS fukci gn RAIL him bara mtn man yuuri katsuki kakakak cats eoooooow keeeei katsudon anyway so he was like “DONT TAK Eyour EYsD OFF ME OR ELSE I’LL UFUCKING JUMO YOUR TWONK ASS ON THE ICE MIND YO FUCKING KNIFE SHOES Bsaaaaaicth so YUURI skaees like a fuskcikng SEX GOF D like fucking.... w Ow  so then he gts off the RiNk and hes like ohhh mah boi vityatchenkaing fuuvkrein BEND OBER BOYYYYYY” and victors like WOW!!! *heart mough for days* and he tackles yuuri on the ice..

Only..... instead of killing i mean kissing him like he does in the show, victor PUTD YUUSID DICK IN DOS HASS!!!!!!!!!!!!c

So eevryones like oh mah gawd l;;uuk it yuruir the jaoapan man his put he dick too big for he gotdamn ass GO AWAY AUTO pe mictrosoft dictionalry WOW MU Smustuci

Wherewas i

Righto. So victor like starts riding yuuri on the ice. And yuuri put his hands on victor, fuvkign up his throbbing member inside the russians moist channel chambver of secrets

Offffjhhhh yuuuuuuuri says gru i mean koiktor and he comes like a fuiing fire hydran

.t he comes sooooo hard that jisst comes outof victors mouth ewwwwww

(There were 4 blank pages here that I cut out)

 

According to all kniown laws of aviation, the bee should not be able to fly. Its litte wings are just too small hto get tht thicc fatass off the ground. Barry? Oooming! Oh oh barry put uyour bee stonger in my hOOHAOH

 

(there was another blank page here, also cut out. )

 

Welllllllllllllllllllllll

Hellomy name is loooce ansd im a special pug! I like to eat roast hcicken and my favriuts thingd a hug!!!!!

Wait this was meant bo yo be to bo fanfiction

TL:DR DONT FUVKING BY THE CHEMISTRY IF YOU DONT HVE THE GEESE FIVKING SJWS AND THEIR PEDO SHIPS!!!!! ALSO IF YOU LIKE KSRTAWKING KILLING Ssteven hawkingslYOU ARE WEAK AND MUSAFA IS COMING FOR YOU NATURAL SELECTION IS COMING FOR YOU

Barcelona? Haha more like BARAcelona amirite fellas “tips fedora” m’lasara tacoicha shshshshhskfkm.,vm,

Im fiiiiin said the bumblebee waiting for a trim and the fireman rushes in, very strange, in the banker is an corner with an ouhrsglass, we see the banker sitting waiting for a trim, what a trip

Kiss him on the lipp lipp take a little ftrip trip jessie paiege is cute and ij like her paster hair dip hdip tbhsaklsdds

Yuuri likes phichit

The rumous come out, does shipping is ha==gay<> otayuri is literally pedophilia _otayuri is literally pedophilia_ *anti voice* otayuri is literally pedophilia

Hjadkkjlbahdjsnjlz shshhhhhhhhhhhhh nobody wants yto hear your vroom vrooom in me mums gar cgAET TYOU BIYCH ASS YOUT ME CAAAAR brom brommrlmeenjdsl

Eend!

THE LORSAX KNOWS  
THE LORAX IS COMING FOR KS FANS AND OTAYURII SHIPPERS YOU Adfslkcxjzioauedghaskl;owdjiegsurydbvkhcnxzkmdsjaiedusgkhbcx,nzm;skdoajeifudshvb

She couldnt finish the post because the lorax got to her

Teaaaaaaaa tea

“I”M HEY”

:What?”

“hi”

“hello?’

Im high

Shouldnt my tongue be hot? Im sure there was a purple thoign. WHos the green and whose the STOP LIGHT remember when there wasnt any green cum oops i misspelled donald trump OOOHBYESASAS LEMONADE THIS SHIT IS A GOOD AS FUCKING SONG RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE (chourus: right there) njvdslnfjldkxjflskfdldvnc callijg out his nammmeee have you ever seen the rain? Cause i have.

 ~~Hfjadelfwilfkd~~ njzkx

*new post* I ALMOTST sswALloWED n a SPOOOON

Helloooo how are youuuuuuuuuuuuu

Drawing now brb

Don i even have finger? Wtf is sjw

 


	2. pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got high again and wrote again. this one's worse (or better, depending how you look at it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one actually has sex in it!

Okay so let’s go.

 

I can REALLY concentrate now smh

Soooooo

 

Victor walked into the living room. He felt his stomach drop/harden as he saw yonder Yuuri lying on the couch with a faintly lustful expression on his table. GHe was wearing a bomdage-insipired eros expression design. VSictor crossed the room in one fell swoop and captured his lips in a smearing kiss. Don’t take your eyes off me!” said yuuri as he flipped victor over, ramming his prostate over and over again. Victor cried out Yuuri’s name as he came. “Vkusno!” he shouted before devouring yuuiri’s hunger games king cockzilla brooooo

 

Gorizzlahahahahhahahh i didnrt mean to say thts soooo funny

 

Phichit rolled his smexy tongue ring around the ball of yuuri. Yuuri grunted like a MAN and stroked phichit’s cheek tenderly. Bibbido bobboidy boo he exclaomed and then he started shooring ejaculate all over the place. MAn, it was craazy shit, it was on the floor, the wall,s even the got damn cieling! I mean, you gtta expect shit like that when your cock is larger than a small child. Jizz everywhere. It happens, you know.

Victor slid onto his knees oooooh im horny and popped the button of yuuri’s jeans, pulling his dicock from his spsntds. yuuri’s dick was biggetr than victor’s entire body. He bent over and Yuuri ohhh buy i needa kinkshame myself im sjkadfndscyuuri pressed the tapered dick on his head to victors ass, sliding it up and down the cleft of his ass before pressing it against his hole. Yuu/Vctor gasped in surprise, and yurui pressed forwards, slipping inside. Victor moaned as Yuuri continued sinking in, his dick growing bigger as he went in. Ohhh, it was so hot and wet and hard, He thrust and yiu could see it on cvictor’s stomach brb

 

*12 minutes later*

No prep Tuesday s amirite wink wonk

how many levels of the entire script of bee movie are you on>

kiss from a rose by steal started playing but hpichit’s eyebrows wiggled each time they went “bap bap” an Yyuri laughed so hard that he died.

stranger it feeeels yeaah anow that your rooose is n bloom

Ugh i was meant to concentrate this time

youuuuuuuubecame my **pOWER MY +PLEA >ASUREMY >>>PAIN BAb**eeeee     e, NOoow that yur ROSE isi in blooom thelight  hits the gloom on the graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave

Hello, my name is [Dan]

Victor walked in and achOOOOO and even if they try to they cant doit liek aiiii doooooo

“Yura, no, you’ve crossed the line,” said Otabek in a severe voice. “This leopard print fetish has gone TOO FAr.”

“But... Beka, it’s just a toyu! Pleeease forgive me!” wailed yuri, sinking to his knees in despair. Otabek held up the offending item, brandishing it towarss Yuri. “It’s not just that, yuri.” Yuri felt tears run down his cheeks.

“This is a fucking leopard print texture buttplugg, yuri. And if that wasn’t bad enough on it’s own, you also got the thong. And the bra. And the garters. Oh god, don’t even get me StARTED on the tail fixture for the plug. I’ts deranged!”

ddddobee hes a semi aquatic egg laying mammal of a **csh** unnnnnah he’ sa furry little mannam who never shrinkss from a fraaayaaayaaayaaay he;s **PERRRYYYYYYYY _Y_** _Yy perry the_ **platypUSSSS**

“Hey my girl” actually no, mom, shut the fuck up   ,

ilike the way you work iiit no diggidy a=i got ta baaag it up

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its more coherent than last time cause a) i smoked shitty outdoor weed this time and quality indoor weed last time, and b) last time i hadnt smoked weed in ages while this one was written on monday, after i spent an entire week at some festival event smoking too much weed. Don't break the law, kids!

**Author's Note:**

> I cant believe you read that


End file.
